Lama-Leah

Prayer should be a common activity in a believer’s life, however, in my walk I have often times gotten in the habit of going through the motions of having a prayer life without considering coming to HaShem with faith that He can do miraculous works.

Make New Year’s resolutions whether that be during the spiritual New Year or the fiscal year. My goal for the spiritual New Year was to use my testimony for the pure glory of God and my goal for the fiscal year was to become a prayer warrior. I made a small rule to pray when I am driving. Whenever I am driving on the road to exit my small town, or am on the highway, I will pray. Whenever I am driving near my congregational leaders home (I live on the same side of town as them and drive in that direction often), I will pray for the leadership of my congregation and/or the future synagogue that we are to make our home. At times, when I am on these roads, I have little desire to pray, however, I try to make it a point to practice the rule that I made.

Within the past several months of doing this, my faith has been transformed in a new way. I have learned the difference between praying because I think that is what I am supposed to do, and praying with belief that He will transform his children’s lives. This past fall, I was baptized. While this is a joyous occasion, as soon as my head came up from that water, my life was changed. Almost immediately after the ceremony, the enemy started attacking me. That evening the spirit of suicide entered my presences. I recognized those spirits and rebuked them in the name of Yeshua’s blood. Almost every night, and through parts of the day for about a month after that service, the enemy continued to try to attack me. In this period of time, it was the beginning of His sacred High holy days, the enemy was trying to distract me from the reasons that I rejoice in these holidays.  As a believer, this season was the most enduring that I have yet to experience. The enemy was feeding me lies, but this time I was strong enough in my faith to recognize them as being lies from the enemy. I would never desire to go back to last fall, but through the trials my faith expanded and I learned something that is priceless. I learned how to pray and fight the enemy. My prayers that I previously prayed out of simple habit were not enough this time. I had to constantly put on the full and complete amour of God. I had been in a season where I was always needing Him. I admit that I did not always desire to fight but I knew that Satan comes steal, kill, and destroy.

Honestly speaking, one way that I tend to pray without belief is before meals. Growing up in a Torah following household, I was taught by my parents and grandparents to pray before eating. It is a habit. Is it a bad habit? Not at all! Do I ever just do it purely because that’s what I was taught to do? Yes, I do. “Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, please use it as nourishment to our bodies, and bless the hands who helped produce the food, in Yeshua’s name, amen.” Does a variation of a prayer similar to this sound familiar? I admit that in certain instances I ‘zone out’ when thanking HaShem for my food. In my life, have I ever gone hungry though? God has always graciously provided. Do I need to be thanking Him? Absolutely! Habits are not necessarily bad, but do I sometimes choose to forget why I am thanking Him? I do.

A few weeks ago I had my first audition as an actress. It was for a Christian film and I was genuinely interested in working on this project. The night before my audition, I had a dream that I failed. I woke up declaring to Satan that he has no power over me or my performance later that afternoon. On my way to the audition, I continued to combat the lies from the enemy while asking for the shalom that only comes from God. I did not ask God for the role but I simply asked Him to help me to act to the best of my abilities, and for boldness and discernment. I thought that the audition went well overall. I recently received a call from the director of the film asking if I wanted the lead female role. I was shocked to have been offered that job. I sought the Lord on this project before and after the audition and He showed me that I should not be working on this particular project. However, I recognized the spirit of Satan before my time in front of the camera and rebuked him before setting foot in the audition room.

Earlier, I shared about my goal of praying frequently in 2017. I did not share about the testimonies that have happened since starting the regimen. Every time that I am on this road, I try to be open to the Holy Spirit in prayer while still praying with complete faith. HaShem has put it on my heart to pray for a few of my former bullies and the Spirit has been working! One of the boys who sexually harassed me contacted me and apologized! One of my former bullies asked if I would pray for them. Lastly, one of the friends that I have been praying for accepted an invite to come to service. These are just a few examples of what all has happened in the past several months.

There is a common phrase in the believing community that states, “Prayer changes things.” I am going to add a Lama-Leah twist to this. I am changing it to, “Prayer with complete faith changes things.”

Trials produce perseverance. I am grateful for the trials that HaShem has allowed me to go through. Through them I have learned how to pray believing instead of habit.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

“I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.” ~Psalms 17:1

“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” ~Psalms 145:18

If you have questions, comments, or prayer requests, feel free to contact me. I would love to communicate with you.

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As I was driving down the road I was struggling to understand. I poured my heart out to God. It started out as a prayer. “God please help me to let go. Help me to just rest in the fact that You got this.” But then my prayer gets violent. I am screaming at God. “GOD WHY? THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED!” I start pounding on the dashboard. I am screaming, people along the road are staring, but I don’t care. I release everything you’ve been holding on to. “God I wanted to spend the summer in camp, I wanted to get so close to you this summer, I wanted to go to a Christian University, I wanted to go to college with my best friend. God why are you doing this? This isn’t fair. I don’t want this, but I can’t do anything to change it. I’m tired of having to explain myself to everyone. I’m tired of being the subject of gossip.”

Many of the things I wanted seemed good. In fact, they even sounded Biblical. However, it’s what I wanted to do and not what God had in store for me. I thought going to a Christian University and ministering at a camp was what God’s will was for me. The message that was ingrained in me throughout my elementary and high school years was: Go to a Christian University and you will be doing God’s will and you will be a Great Christian.

‘God’s will’ is a term we use a lot. But when we say God’s will is it really His will or is it simply what we want with a label attached to it? I wanted to serve at camp, I wanted to go to college with my best friend so I labeled it as God’s will. Because it seemed right and it was what I wanted. However, God’s will is so much more than us.  

The Truth is sometimes what people tell us is God’s will for us, sometimes what we think is God’s will for us simply isn’t. We struggle to understand why everything is changing when we think what we were going to do was God’s will. Sometimes what God’s will is for you no one else will think is God’s will for you. Right now, God wants me to go to a State University. Is everyone going to think I’m doing God’s will by going to a state university? No of course not. In fact, many people will think I’m rebelling against God, they will think I’m doing the wrong thing. But let me tell you something I don’t need people’s approval. If I know what I’m doing is what God wants, I’m doing what’s right. I do not need other people to tell me what is right or wrong. Of course, I can get counsel, but ultimately my decisions are between me and God. Is everything going to change? Yes, I won’t be as close to some people and I might be more alone than ever before. But the truth is. I need to be willing to step out in faith. I need to be willing to go alone sometimes. I don’t need permission from others to grow. Not everyone who started with me will finish with me and its hard but it’s okay.

We don’t always know what God’s will is for us. Truthfully doing God’s will is not about knowing what to do in the future. Doing God’s will is actively stepping out in faith on a day to day basis.

I don’t want any of this to happen. I was trying to hold it all in for the past two months. But I couldn’t. I started screaming at God. I poured it all out. Everything. And that was good. It helped. I want to encourage you. If you are struggling to understand, if you are trying to keep it all together, but secretly you are falling apart. Go find a private area and pour your heart out to God. Pound the ground. Scream out in anguish. Get it all out. God desires you to be real with Him. Don’t hold on to your pain, take it to the one who carried the whole world’s.

~Anonymous

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I recently attained this quote from Marianne Williamson that said, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” I immediately adored this quote, however, I put my own Lama-Leah spin on it and changed it to, “Your playing small does not serve the world  Kingdom.”  If you are a regular reader, you would be aware that I am in a new season of life. God has called me to pursue commercial modeling, singing, and acting for the glory of Him. I have been training with the organization, Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ.

This path has been exciting, not only because of future job opportunities but because I am doing exactly what God has called me to do. When I was about seven years old I was cast in a movie as an extra (my character’s name was ‘little girl wearing pink dress’). From that experience, I always knew that I would somehow be involved in the entertainment industry. I can’t explain that “gut feeling” to anyone who hasn’t that experienced it yet. Honestly speaking, I was scared. I knew where my assignment was but yet didn’t pursue it.

Overall, I have had some amazing support while starting my new career. I have been blessed to be a part of several communities that supports the arts and the entertainment industry. I cannot express how grateful I am to everyone who has been rooting for me. It means more then you will ever know. However, I have also seen a different side of the Christian community that has been discouraging on this journey.

I have learned that in some cases, it is a common thought that Christians cannot be involved in the entertainment industry and stay grounded. We are supposed to be in the world, but not of it and some interpret this verse as – don’t be involved in the world at all. When I have explained that Jesus has called me into the entertainment industry I have gotten responses of others doubting that God would reveal this to me. I have gotten, the almost but not quite judgmental, “Oh, that is interesting…” And let’s not forget my favorite, “Just be careful, okay?” Over the course of my time in this program, I have had several conversations with other participants about how there has almost been a disapproval from their own communities for pursuing the entertainment industry as a believer.

If you are one of the individuals who as expressed concern for me, let me tell you this, I am grounded in who I am as a believer. I have seen first hand a glimpse of the darkness in the industry and I am using it as fuel for the light that I need to be shining. My prayer has been for God to give me boldness, discernment, and courage as I train, go to auditions, and work. Let me tell you, He has provided in every aspect!

Some Christians are called to serve the Kingdom by using their God given wisdom by mentoring youth who are at risk; others are called to use their God given talent and beauty in Hollywood. Each calling comes with their own set of challenges and difficulties, but each one makes an impact. It is the mere fact that they are simply using what God has given them, at times leaving their comfort zone, and impacting the kingdom that matters.

At the beginning of this post I shared a Lama-Leah revised quote. I did this because I wanted to share that when we stay in our comfort zones and “play small” as believers, we will make little impact for the Kingdom. We need to practice being bold, and playing big with love for Christ to make an impact for the Kingdom.

Stay faithful and be encouraged.

With love,

Lama-Leah

 

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Two years ago I set up my this blog. I never imagined it growing in the ways that it has. I’ve grown as a believer and a writer. As a celebration I have a special promo code for you. The website, lifeaccordingtobella.com is giving Lama-Leah readers  $1 off ANY product on their website using promo code: lamaleah 

I am in love with the format of the blog. Miss Annabelle, has been lovely to work with. I have had a difficult time opening up the ebooks though. If you are looking for an in depth devotional, I recommend the products.  

Check it out! 

Chag Sameach! Happy Holidays! This week is the week of Shavuot or the holiday known as Pentecost. This is the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai from God to Moses, and to the Nation of Israel. This is observed 50 days after Passover, and is also a celebration of wheat harvest. Overall, this is a remembrance that HaShem is faithful, and provides for our needs.  It is tradition to study the Torah all night and consume dairy foods. While I could take several different angles on this holiday, I am being led to share about agriculture.

I was not truly exposed to agriculture when I was a young child. I generally thought I knew where my food comes from – the local farmers market. It was not until I was nearly in high school that I saw a tiny glimpse of where our food comes from. The high school I graduated from was in rural Kansas. On the daily commute I witnessed how the earth changed throughout the year by observing the farmers hard work being grown in the fields. I am by no means a country girl, however, I have learned about a few aspects of life on the farm throughout the years. I apologize if I misuse any farm lingo!

What I have observed about harvest is that cannot be started if the farmer had not planted the seeds. An experienced farmer will know which season is appropriate to plant each crop. There are several factors that one would consider when selecting which type of seeds to grow — location, weather conditions and timing are just a few. The farmer will be investing not only financially, but also through his time. He will have to use wisdom and judgment when it comes to matters pertaining to agriculture.

God plants different seeds on our own piece of land throughout this journey here on earth and we often times have the privilege of reaping the harvest, however, certain situations can take a significant amount of time to pass after the seed is planted in order to witness the harvest that God has in store for us. A few examples of God growing me in my personal life would be being born into a generally artsy family where I can easily express my creative side, being raised Messianic, the day I found out I was dyslexic, and the day depression became a part of my soul. I have complete faith that God knew what He was doing when He placed each of those experiences in my path. At times I had sorrows and at times I had joy. But through each season He always remained faithful and had my best interest in mind, even if I didn’t understand at the time.

I am extremely fortunate because in my young age, I am starting to see the harvest within the difficulty. Although I have few chapters in my life that I do not understand, I have faith. I have had seasons where it felt that God was only planting, and nothing in my field was growing besides a few weeds. I have come to believe that even the weeds can represent beauty in its own unique form. Without the difficulty this blog would probably not exist. If I had experienced the feeling of having a voice and opinions that could be heard, I do not think I would have began writing. He has used my sleepless nights for His own good. Even though I have always felt extremely insecure about my thoughts and wisdom, He has made it clear to me that I am supposed to share the light that He has given me with the world.

This holiday is about the remembrance that GOD PROVIDES. He could be planting seeds for a new season that you have not experienced yet. It could be faith testing, and faith enduring. Whatever it may be, He will be with you wherever He takes you. Remember you cannot expirence the fullness of harvest without taking the precious time of letting God plant the seeds and investing in you first.

Love you all!

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I have typos on this blog. Even as I double-check my drafts before posting, I always seem to miss something. As a writer, this scares me but I have had to learn how to allow myself to share grace… even when it’s grace towards myself. I have had to learn how to say after I have caught the typos (these types of things can be embarrassing), I can say, “It’s okay.” Every day I struggle with my dyslexia. Although this doesn’t normally affect my ability to clearly communicate, it does effect how I understand the proper use of the English language.

In the Christian community we tend to approach the concept of grace in two basic forms:

• The grace that God has given His children,
• The grace that we should give our brothers and sisters in Christ because of what He did, and continually does for us.

However, we forget the importance of another side of this issue. We don’t talk about giving ourselves permission to receive grace from ourselves. As a woman, I believe that this is a true problem in the church even though it is rarely spoken on. Even though I am still considered to be “young,” I am not immune to witnessing this dark issue that is essentially an issue of pride. We live in a day and age where we capture the special parts of our lives through the lenses of our camera phones, while using filters to sift through the rough parts of our journey. Through this age of filters, we tend to life with the goal of achieving the lifestyles that are as seemingly perfect as our social media feed.

It is no secret that girls in general are constantly comparing themselves to each other. Generally, as soon as we enter a room we are comparing ourselves to every other women in same vicinity.  We “judge” others for everything from outward appearances, social status, and social media status, just to name a few. We live in a society where we are expected to be perfect. We naturally desire to have a Pinterest-perfect life, but that is not how life seems to work. The thing is…we are going fail multiple times on our journey. We will fail our friends. We will fail our families. We will fail God and at times we will fail our own expectations that we have set for ourselves. It is within these times that grace comes into the picture.

I have found that in the Christian community women can be great at displaying grace towards others. However, we lack in the area of allowing grace for us individually. We can forgive others when they sin against us, but we struggle with forgiving ourselves when we fall into temptation.  From experience, I have learned that sometimes the greatest forms of healing can happen when you let go and forgive yourself after accepting the full forgiveness from God. The enemy tries to keep us in bondage of our own guilt and sin when we don’t allow grace to enter in our own hearts. If you truly believe that the creator of the ENTIRE universe can, and has forgiven you, what is stopping you from forgiving yourself?

I believe that something that sets this blog apart is my honesty about the struggles that I go through. It is my goal as a blogger to be transparent to anyone who reads this blog. I desire to be the same girl when I am online, and offline.  I am not always going to be politically correct or even grammatically correct for that manner. As you are a reader, I ask for grace from you. Grace, as I haven’t been the best at posting these past few months. Grace, as I seem to be writing about similar topics every week. Grace, as I don’t catch every typo. As writer, I want to emphasize how grateful I am for those who read this blog. I often times pray for God to give me the correct words to use, so that Lama-Leah can be a blessing to others.

I challenge you to display grace in all areas of your life and be transparent in your daily life.

Love you all! ~Lama-Leah

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My past four weeks have been crazy but in the best ways. I took a step of obedience and went where God has been calling me to go. It seems to be the only topic that I have written about lately, but I am truly excited to see where God is going to take me. However, the past few weeks I have been struggling. I know without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be in this season, however, I have shamefully questioned Him. I have felt that I am not talented enough to be a professional performer. I have compared my talent to the talent of my peers who are also going through this program. God has given me confidence and a peace about sharing my talents with the world, but sometimes I still question where exactly He is taking me. In four months I am going to model, act, and sing at a conference with professionals in the entertainment industry being in the audience. I realize that I have been given a several once in a lifetime opportunities and am truly honored and grateful for them.

It has been long weekend. Friday morning started bright and early. My shift at the coffee shop started at 7 am and I have been going ever since then (it is Saturday night now). Throughout the busyness He has continued to teach me through His Holy Spirit. He has reminded me in various ways of three aspects this weekend:

1)      Walk this new journey purposefully.

2)      I may not feel as if I have enough talent but He has it under control.

3)      Even within my insecurities He has reassured me that this is exactly what I am supposed to be pursuing (but this story is for another blog).

There has not been a day since becoming a part of AMTC that I don’t think about the conference that I will be preforming/competing in. I have spent countless hours preparing mentally, physically, and spiritually. I have changed my lifestyle, diet, habits, and have set goals as a performer. Yet within this time of preparation, I have at times lost sight of why I am even a part of AMTC. I auditioned for the program because God showed me that I am supposed to be a missionary and a light within the entertainment industry and our culture. At times I have been caught up in the motions of “preparing” that I forget the greater purpose of why I am training.

I may not be fully equipped now to enter this mission field, but He would not have called me if He not planned on leading me down the path I’m on. I have confidence that I am enough to make it in this industry. I have enough — musical talent, personality, and even physical beauty. Not because of anything that I have done but because of the way that He has created me. At times, I may be uncomfortable but I expect this. Being a follower is not about comfort. We are called to make disciples and be a light on this dark world.  In the end, at the final judgment God will compare what we did and did not do on this earth. I don’t desire to waste any more time not sharing the good news just because I have a few insecurities. Through HIM I can find strength to do anything.

The adventure that lies in the future is that it is new and unknown but through it God always has a purpose. As humans, we naturally tend to keep our focus and energy on the time that we spend on this earth, often times forgetting that this world is not our home. As believers, we have the privilege of spending eternity with our Creator.

Recently, God has revealed to me a variety of lessons about two simple subjects, obedience and His will. We are called to make disciples, share the Gospel, and be set apart from the world. On this walk with Christ, I tend forget the blessings I can bring to others through Christ.

About a month ago, a friend taught me a valuable lesson about moving in the form of ministry when you are called. They shared with me about how they were led to minister in a location that was dark and desperately needed Jesus. Without hesitation they went where Jesus told them to go. It gave me encouragement and assurance that everything is in God’s hand, as I am entering my new mission field.

This evening when I was driving home from Bible study, God pointed out to me the power within just one single action while reminding me that everything works together for His good.

There is only one thing on this earth that defines me, and that is my relationship with Christ. I am fortunate to have been raised in a Christian environment. My parents instilled Christian values in me and that is priceless. Even though I was not always following Him, I knew the difference between right and wrong because I was raised to know the difference.

Although there were several factors that have influenced the reasons why I have relationship with God, I believe a majority of it comes back to my Grandma McCready. She accepted Christ as a teenager and raised her three daughters to fear the Lord (one of which is my mom). The faith of my grandparents is inspirational to me.

My grandmother was not raised in a Christian environment. She accepted Christ as her personal Savior as a teenager while attending a revival done by a well-known evangelist.

As I was driving, I thought about how my life, family, and the kingdom would be different if my grandmother had not attended this revival or hadn’t accepted Christ as a teenager. She had three daughters, seventeen grandchildren, and a handful of great grandchildren. All of the grandchildren were raised in the church and the majority of them are involved in some form of ministry today.

My family has influenced and ministered to hundreds, maybe even thousands of individuals for Christ. On my drive home, I remembered the ripple effect on just one life decision, especially when it is to be obedient to where God is calling you. For example, the friend that I mentioned previously was obedient when they went and shared Jesus. Not only did my friend help speak truth into the other individual’s life, but it inspired me and helped me find the courage to GO where I was being called. Not only was this achieved, I also wrote an article about this (with permission) for a Christian based publication. The amount of souls that will be reached by this story are endless. That is what unique and special about God — His blessings always seem to multiply in ways we can never imagine when we are obedient to His ways.

The reason that I write to you this evening is simple, to encourage you to not only keep Christ but also heaven in mind as you live your life. A single decision to GO where He is leading you to can lead to endless earthly, and heavenly blessings.

“But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.” ~James 2:18-19

Beautifully Bullied – Today I Smile

I have been bullied but despite unpleasant circumstances, I am still beautiful.

The teenage years are rarely pleasant for anyone, especially during the four dreaded years of high school. My story/testimony of my high school years is not unusual. The first year, in particular, I was bullied by a squad of multiple mean girls/bullies. I expressed what I was going through to the staff at the school that I was at during those years and they had little interaction/interest in finding solutions as to bullying, especially as I was victim. I eventually stopped sharing with anyone what I was going through. I joined the Tribe and it became my personal mission to be a loving friend to everyone who was, too, victims of bullying within the walls of the school. As I had great intentions, I did not know how to take care of myself when helping others. I carried the weight of the world on my small and weak back without ever handing it to Jesus. In despair, one month before my 17^th birthday my best friend saved me from suicide. I slowly began healing after this incident and today, over two years later, my life has completely changed.

I have learned that what sets one apart from being a victim of bullying and overcoming bullying lies in where one places their identity. It can be placed in the actions and words of others, or the actions and words of Christ. The desire of a bully is to tear you down but the heart of Yeshua is to love you.

In my walk I have been bullied for a variety of reasons and as a young women what has scarred me the most were the comments about my personal appearance. Weighing a little less than 100 pounds as a 15 year-old girl I was considered “fat” by the standards of my bullies. They also said that my eyes were ugly, creepy, etc.; the list could go on. I conclusion, I was not beautiful. I couldn’t meet the impossible to achieve beauty standards’ that my bullies made for me, even though they couldn’t even achieve them themselves.

Eventually, I began putting my identity in my outward appearance because that is where my bullies put my value. As a young lady, I have come to the conclusion that girls and women feel best about themselves, and are productive when they feel good or beautiful on the outside. If I was not academic and was considered to not be beautiful outside, where did my value lie?  This is when I became a victim of bullying — I put my value in the words, thoughts, and actions of others.

Within, and after this season, I learned a couple of lessons about bullying that is important for all victims to become overcomers.

Words are powerful, but only the kind ones should have the power to influence you, and the actions of Christ should only define you.

First of all, you are a child of God. The same God who created the stars in the sky and the beauty of nature, also created YOU. Psalms 139:13-14 states:

For you created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.”

When you personally discover the beauty of this you can achieve self-confidence, identity in Christ, and the power to overcome.  Not only did He create you, He created your bullies, too. I truly believe that if we all realize who we are in Christ, bullying would not be an issue that almost everyone has dealt with. Remember, the Creator put something special in you that the world needed. In the walk of following Christ, we were not meant to be victims in this world, but to overcome through the blood and works of Jesus.

I have the choice to be bitter or to forgive and use my story as a tool for empathy towards others who are in the same position that I was once in. My identity is no longer in the experiences that broke me, but instead made me stronger.

You may be wondering where I am today. I am 19 years old and I stand tall and strong. God has taken my testimony and made beauty out of it. My personal blog has grown. I have readers worldwide and I have the privilege to share hope with them. Additionally, I write a column specifically for hurting or broken believers in Discovering You Magazine. I recently took a step of faith and became a part of a talent development company. I am training to be a singer, actress, and commercial model. I also volunteer at a local coffee shop and am slowly learning how to be a barista.

I would not be able to move on from my past if I hadn’t taken the steps needed to be an overcomer through Christ and more importantly I would not be able to have the ministry that I have today. I would live with a heart of bitterness instead of joy. I have been beautifully bullied; I am not a victim but today I am smiling because I am an overcomer. If you are a victim, I promise you that you can certainly overcome whatever darkness that may be haunting you from your past.

“…for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.” – 1 John 5:4-5

Happy Passover.

At sunset, April 10, 2017 the feast of Unleavened Bread (Passover) began. If you are a Christian and have yet to attend a Seder, I highly recommend you attend one at some point in time.

Within a typical Seder, you go through a Haggadah book (which means the telling). During the Seder there are four cups that you take in a manner similar to communion. Each cup represents something different and go in the following order.

1. The cup of sanctification
2. The cup of plagues
3. The cup of redemption (communion)
4. The cup of praise

The start of this Passover has not been something that I have experienced before.

I have briefly expressed in previous blogs that I feel God is calling me to serve Him in ways bigger than this website. In the past year He has revealed to me that I am to go into a modern day Nineveh and share God’s light. I have not been quick to respond to Him. I have prayed many prayers with almost the hope that God will ‘change His mind’ but every time I have prayed the answer becomes more clear. I have sat through sermons and messages about listening to God and walking by faith while having conviction in my heart.

Where is He calling me? The entertainment industry.

This past weekend I completely surrendered everything to God. I found out that the organization Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ was having open call auditions. I took a giant leap of faith and signed up for an audition time. I half heartedly thought that maybe I was just called to audition but God (as always) had larger plans. On Sunday morning my phone rang and I received a callback for acting, singing, and modeling and signed to represent AMTC.

Within the past day I have a shalom that I had to experience because I know that I am doing His will. Even before my audition I had peace, and normally I am nervous before performing in front others. This Pesach has had a different start because when I took the fourth cup, I did not have that little voice of conviction in my head about not completely following God. If He died for me, the least that I can do is fully live for Him. I am excited for where is taking, and who I will influence for the Kingdom of God.

This journey of entering Nineveh will be difficult but it is a mission field that needs to be desperately reached. At the same time, I have peace and comfort knowing that I don’t have to enter this land on my own. If God is sending me, He will stick with me through this walk.

My advice for you is listen to God when He tells you to go. That calling may not make much sense now but within time you will most likely understand. I look back to this past fall when God told me that I was not supposed to attend make-up school. I felt lost and abandoned but He was protecting me.  My motto for life is, “if I don’t make an effort to change the world then who will?” I ask for prayers that I stay strong in my walk with Christ and my knowledge of who I am in Him.

If you are at all interested in AMTC a link is posted below. Also, if you care to help support my journey financially, I have a webpage that will help you do so.

Always listen to God…He knows best.

https://www.shine.us/audition?gclid=CjwKEAjw2qzHBRChloWxgoXDpyASJAB01Io0-vGdmof_vrk0VCQ_WoERSssSfUQXL9TtPIEP9dBP8BoC7kjw_wcB

https://donate.shine.us/fundraise?fcid=955936