Adressing my darker photoshoots

If you have been following my journey via social media you may have noticed that lately, I have been posting darker content. I have received some mixed reviews about my recent projects. Some of those who follow me have expressed encouragement and excitement while others have expressed concern.

A few months back, I posted a few photos from a moody photoshoot and received a private message if I needed Jesus because of the dark content that I shared. I responded with kindness sharing that I was just fine spiritually and that they could even take a look at this blog if they continued to doubt.

In 2018 I have continued to take moody shots but the concern for my spiritual and mental state has shifted from random people on the internet to individuals in my congregation, and family members. I have decided to publicly address why I continue to post moody content while in everyday life I am a happy lady.

First of all, I would like to remind everyone that I am based out of Wichita, KS. I am under no contracts with anyone in this area. If I want to model, I have to do the networking myself. Even though the Midwest as a whole is a commercial market, I have not been booking commercial print work in Wichita. This area has a semi predominate creative community and I have managed to stay busy within it. That being said, I am pretty much at the mercy of the photographers projects. Moody content is trendy in this area at the moment and, therefore, I accept the projects that are offered to me under the right circumstancesI do not shoot with someone just because they own a camera. They have to meet several requirements before I say yes to an offer.

Moody is a trend right now and if I refused to do it I would be limiting myself as a model just because they have a darker feel to them. To me, I see modeling as a form of art and only a form of art. Typically when I am participating in these types of shoots, I am laughing with the photographer between shots because generally, my shoots are light-hearted. I can switch from being happy, commercial Leah, to dark, sad, and moody Leah in a few seconds. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing commercial styled shoots. I enjoy giving a huge, happy smile to the camera BUT I would be a bad model if I could not portray more than just a general happy emotion.

It hurts a little when I receive negative comments from fellow believers concerning my choice to do moody work. I was recently asked I was doing these shoots with “Christian photographers” and I was taken aback for a second. I think I only know one photographer who claims Christianity but how could I ever be a light in an industry consumed with darkness if I only worked with believers? These same photographers that I work with frequently know the brand that I maintain and know not to even to bother asking me to do shoots that would be considered to be sacrilegious or would be too edgy for me. I have maintained modesty and try my very best to maintain a quiet but yet bold testimony within the community.

Art can be made within many elements of life. I believe that the human body makes the most beautiful kind of art though. I appreciate everyone who is following and supporting me on this journey. I am truly grateful for every follow, like, and encouraging comment. I do not intend on quitting moody photoshoots any time within the near future. I have been able to reach an entirely new community of artists when I agree to do these types of shoots. I do not feel any conviction about not continuing with this form of art, therefore, I am going to continue with it. If you have a problem with it, however, I kindly ask you to keep your opinions to yourself. You do not have to like every project that I work on, however, it hurts on an entirely new level when a believer questions my heart behind a photo shoot just because I do not perceive to be happy when they see the results.



Facebook: LamaLeahblog & Leah Pilcher Actress/Model

Instagram: @modellamaleah & @lamaleahblog

Twitter: @lamaleahblog


The images below were taken by my dear friend Kim at Creative Reflections photography.  Read More

Stand Your Ground- The WOW Project

Considering my background in theater, I’m already accustomed to being labeled a prude. There seems to be an theory in the industry that an actress or model must be willing to do whatever it takes in order to “make it.” Those who draw a hard boundary line are often slapped with the label of prude or told they’re not really cut out for the job. But this ideology leaves the door wide open for producers, directors or photographers to take advantage of women (or men) who are trying to establish themselves in the business.

This industry is broad. There is plenty of room for everyone to find a niche. There is a place for artistic nudes, boudoir, and even ‘sexy photos.’ And there are plenty of other styles for those who are uncomfortable doing such shoots. What there is not room for, however, is photographers who use a model’s trust and body for personal enjoyment. Whether this involves unwanted touch, unwarranted use of nudity, or simply shaming a model into pushing past her own clearly established boundaries, it is inappropriate and inexcusable.

I’ve been fortunate, thus far, to have been largely treated with respect while on shoots – even by photographers I was later warned against working with. I have a generally positive perspective on the photography community here in Wichita. I have only once attended a shoot where I actually feared for my safety. However, I have attended a couple of shoots where I was asked to pose in a manner that was both beyond the boundaries I established at the time of booking, and also irrelevant to the style of shoot. There was no need to be asked to do “sexy poses” at a headshot shoot. Nor was there an excuse for pouting about pre-approved cosplay costumes not showing enough cleavage or leg. I do my best to screen portfolios to make sure my style matches up with a photographer’s, but when I am approached by a photographer and he agrees beforehand to the style and theme of the shoot, it’s disheartening, to say the least, when I am then treated as though I am “difficult” because I won’t suddenly start acting sexy. I have found this mindset particularly prevalent in “for trade” shoots, where the photographer behaves as if the model owes him compliance because he is volunteering his time. In reality, both parties are investing time and energy into the shoot, and both parties should behave professionally.

We as models need to remember that our time and talent are valuable and that we do not have to compromise our personal safety or standards while on a shoot. Communicate clearly before the shoot begins, speak up if a photographer’s conduct is unprofessional, and speak out if you believe that other models could also be at risk. Let’s all remember that “whatever it takes” should never include harm to or exploitation of our bodies, especially by professionals whom we should be able to trust.

-A Local Wichita Model

An Open Letter To The Person I love But Can’t Be Around

To be honest, I miss you.

I would by absolutely lying if I said that I don’t think about you every day. Some days, I would give anything to text you, see you, or dance with you again. Before you left, we used to hangout all the time. I miss how we would stay up talking. I miss how you would give me feedback on my Lama Leah posts. I miss learning from you, and how you would challenge me on a weekly basis to be a better student of the Torah. I miss that. I miss you.

I truly believed that you were trying your best to uptain the Torah. I believed that you loved the law. I believed that you were following it.  Maybe I put you on a pedestal. Maybe I began to look at you, instead of the Tanakh. Maybe I should have spent my time with more people who are willing to be vulnerable, open, and real.

I don’t miss how you didn’t support my choice to start pursuing the industry, even though, in a way, you had the same desire that I had. I just went about it in a different way. I don’t miss how it sometimes felt like you were judging me when I broke a Mitzvot. I know you did it out of love, but I didn’t appreciate how you would lecture me when I didn’t wear Kosher clothing, or did something fun on a Saturday. Sometimes it felt like your entire religion was based on a set of rules but those rules were not in your heart. I hate that you felt a need to tell me what I, “can and can’t” wear to a photo shoot. Or that you cautioned me more than you supported me.

What I hate the most is how things ended. I hate how I went months with no explanation of why you were no longer around. I hate the fact that I didn’t know if you were safe or even alive. For a few weeks after you stopped responding to any form of communication, I went to a few of your hangout places, hoping that I would find you, hoping that I would be informed that you were okay. I did not know if you were safe, or even alive. I cared alot for you. We saw each other multiple times a week, so my life felt weird not to see you often.

What bothers me the most, is finding out where you are, and what you did to be placed there. It scares me because I truly thought I knew you. I have had sleepless nights since you have tried to contact me again. I have thought, “This could have been me. I could have been your victim.” Ever since I found out who you are, trusting people again has been hard. What did I miss about your persona? How did I miss knowing who you are?

I choose not to allow you into my life anymore because I need to spend my energy with go getters and you are not that. If I want success in life, I need to spent time with successful people. I want you back in my life, but from a distance. However, I need to put myself first at this point in my life.

I miss you, and I will always love you, but at this point you are not worth the tears.

~The best friend that had no idea who you really were

Jesus Wept 

If you know me on a personal level, or even follow me on social media, you would know that basically two things are basically my life right now- modeling and writing. In 2017, I had 66 photoshoots, traveled to several different ciqties for modeling related events, and made like minded friends that will last a lifetime. As a writer, I worked on my first international project as well as producing content on a local and national level. It has been a busy time of life. 

I am a driven individual but sometimes drive isn’t enough. As much fun I’ve had in the past several months, I’ve also had alot of stress. Being brand new to modeling, I had to learn the hard way who to trust. I was shown the dark part of the industry from a singer at the very beggining, following a few photographers who tried to take advantage of my newness of the field. I have had to make career making or braking desicions when it came to agency’s to pursue. I have had to ask myself, “Is the sexual harrasment worth the opportunity?” I has been difficult to navigate. I’ve prayed for God to give me clear answers. I’ve cried from a place of stress and I have come close to screaming a few times as well. 

Over the weekend, I received a pep talk from a friend when I wasn’t believing in myself. The next day, I got to return the favor to another friend pursing the industry who was not believing in themselves that night. As I was pep-talking my friend I thought, “How in the world do they not realize how talented and special they are?!?” As a friend, I see the talent even when they are not believing in themselves. Likewise, I wonder if God thinks the same thing when we are having doubts about our ability to achieve greatness. I wonder if He hurts for us when we watch someone we love is hurting. After all, whats the shortest verse in the bible? The two words, “Jesus Wept.” 

I think the most important reminder that I’ve learned in the past few months is, “Remember who I am, and who’s I am.” This quote can go for someone in any part of life. Tonight I want to remind you that you are a child of the King and NOTHING that you could do, or be said or done can change that.




Facebook: Lama Leah blog

Instagram: @modellamaleah & @lamaleahblog 

Apology for Dissaperaring 

Hello, long time no see. I want to appologize for dissaperaring from this sight. I have incredible readers and I know this blog would not be where it’s at today without you. Truth is, I have been struggling emensly with anxiety. I will have posts written and then stress about the content not being good enough. I have had troubles sleeping at night and then I have been having a difficulty functioning during the day. Responding to emails and DMs have been a challenge for me and I haven’t been treating Lama Leah the way that I built it up. You all know that I’m about being transparent and this is a post where I’ve had to be transparent. 

Love you all,



Facebook: Lamaleahblog

Instagram: @lamaleahblog & @modellamaleah 

Twitter: @lamaleabblog

Make Peace Reign During Your Holiday Get-Together With These Four Tips – Guest Blog Jennifer Scott

There’s nothing better during the holidays than spending time with family. Then again, there’s nothing worse during the holidays than…well, spending time with family. Does this bittersweet appraisal ring true with you? If so, then relax and enjoy a well-deserved chuckle, knowing you’re in good company according to writers for Popular Science.

Still, some of life’s greatest joys only come when we’re around those with whom we share the closest bonds. So in this post we’ll look at four ground rules for avoiding discord. Use them to help keep things harmonious when hosting your holiday get-together.

Rule One: No Generalizing

Generalizing is one of humanity’s worst traits. It expresses itself whenever people make broad, sweeping statements based on a handful of examples. Here are some forms it can take in a family setting:

“Joan is irresponsible. Look at how she totaled her last car!”

“Greg is no genius. Remember that D he got in high school algebra?”

“Terry is a dreamer. Remember that time she wanted to go into acting?”

Everyone has foibles, of course. But the holidays are for focusing on what’s good inside all of us, not the opposite. Remind your relatives of this fact before they gather together under your roof.

Rule Two: No Name-Calling

We tend to dislike those who are most like us, according to an article in Atlantic.  This may explain why some of the nastiest exchanges can erupt between family members, who are so alike it’s scary sometimes. But you don’t need a medical degree to recognize that name-calling never makes a situation better. So outlaw this nasty habit from the outset.

Rule Three: No “Nos”

Few words in the English language can stir up as much discord as the simple “no.” This is certainly the case when used in a heated discussion: “No intelligent person shares your views;” “Your husband is no good at all.” Not only is this use of the word “no” bad manners, it’s also bad thinking. If your guests must debate each other, then encourage them to see both the good and the bad in the other’s perspective. This can keep an honest disagreement from degenerating into an ugly uproar. It may even help to mend fences between estranged persons.

Rule Four: No Scapegoating

We all stumble at times. Even successful people make their share of  boneheaded blunders. Henry Ford pioneered the auto industry but clung to outdated designs long after his rivals adopted better approaches. Amazon founder Jeff Bezos poured a fortune into developing a cellphone line that lost the company $170 million. Yet, while nobody thinks of Ford or Bezos as failures, the fact remains that mistakes and shortcomings can sting. One way people try to muffle this pain is by blaming a convenient scapegoat, as in the following examples:

“I could have retired in comfort if Aunt Sally hadn’t cashed in the savings bonds.”

“My son would be rich if your brother hadn’t talked him out of selling his invention.”

These are the stuff of which endless quarrels are made. We suggest banning them from your holiday gathering.

Special Cases

Dealing with family members can pose formidable challenges for those in recovery. Here are ways to respond when someone brings up your past:

  • Refuse to discuss the addiction issue. If someone brings it up, let them know you’ve made a firm decision about harmful substances, and say, “I’m clean now. That’s it.” There’s no need to say anything else. If the other person tries belittling or blaming you, then just repeat, “I’m clean now. That’s it,” until the person drops the matter. This powerful assertiveness technique can stop attempts to shame or manipulate you in their tracks.
  • Walk away. There’s no law that says you must endure another’s bad manners, even if the person has good intentions. Anything is better than letting others drive you towards relapse.

Playing host to a group of not-so-perfect relatives can make anyone anxious. But using the tips in this post can give you the self-assurance to handle any situation with grace and confidence. Think of them as our gift to you this season. Happy holidays!

Story 1: The WOW Project

The first photographer I ever spoke/shot with asked me about how comfortable I was in front of the camera. I responded with a genuine “It’s not so bad.” And he responded with “Now how comfortable would you be topless?” The next session I went to I brought my boyfriend to try and buffer the situation, and this time the photographer told me politely yet firmly that he was not allowed on set because it would ‘inhibit’ my modeling for him. Little did I know that with him gone he would wittle away at my self confidence and dignity to the point where I agreed to wear only a robe for photos. Then when he pushed things over the edge towards pornographic I pushed back. Suddenly I was a terrible model. “Don’t you want to have a career? This is what models do for money. Don’t you want to be a model?” That’s a question that a lot of young models are asked, or demanded. Take an already semi awkward situation and add in an even more awkward proposition. Some respond with no, some respond with sure, some don’t respond at all. And the point isn’t wether or not their responses are correct, but why are we even asked these questions in the first place? People I have worked with claim that nude or pornographic models are the only models that make money or make it big, and that’s simply untrue. But for a young model starting out who is going to tell her that? She’s putting her trust in these photographers who may or may not have the right drive for her. I never received the photos from that shoot, until a few years later when a man from the internet sent me a link to them on a website. They had been posted places without my knowledge or consent. It took a fight to get them taken down, and it was one that was never acknowledged from the man who took them. To this day it is a difficult decision on who to work with, when to say no, and when to be concerned for your own well being. And I don’t really have any life changing advice, just to always trust your gut feelings, don’t be afraid to speak up when something doesn’t feel right.

– A Local Wichita Model

The WOW Project- Now Accepting Submissions

As many of you know, I consider myself to be a feminist (yay for girl power). This past October, the #Metoo movement came about when the allegations of sexual abuse against  Harvey Weinstien was released to the public. Within a matter of days, I had individuals asking me as a model, what my thoughts were on this issue. I responded by saying that I am not surprised because even in the tiny city of Wichita Kansas, I have personally had a handful of negative experiences from photographers in the area, and the deeper I grow into the industry, the more I learn about the darkness within it. From a personal standpoint, it feels as if the more well known the photographer is, the more they tend to get away with misconduct. As a women who was once a victim, I feel that I have a personal responsiblity to the public to bring light to this issue that is so prevalent in this city but few know about unless they are in the photography/modeling/stylist community.

This is where the W.O.W. project comes in.

W.O.W. stands for Weinstiens of Wichita. I desire for the issue of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault between photographers and models to be an issue that is known to the general public. I am now accepting submissions for Wichita area models to guest blog  about their personal experiences when it comes to this subject.

Submissions can be sent to

To The Broken Hearted Girl

Hello beautiful, I know that you are hurting. You just found out the boy that you have had a crush on for years has a girlfriend and that girlfriend isn’t you. Nothing that I can tell you can help with the pain that you are experiencing. I understand that it hurts to see him with someone else. I have a few things that I want to remind you that may encourage you.

  • Take time to mourn. Time will help you heal it’s also perfectly alright to cry, and eat an entire pizza
  • I want you to be reminded that this boy not being your significant other has NOTHING to do with inherent value. You are precious because of who your Father is

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalms 139:13

  • Singleness is not a curse and may only be a season

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

  • Most boys are drama, appreciate life with as little drama
  • Fully living life consists less of romantic relationships but living in a way of no regrets
  • He is not worth the time to be stressing over when you have a greater purpose
  • Take this time and develop deep relationships with others
  • Take your worries to the thorn

“Cast your anxieties to the Lord because He cares for you” – 1 Peter 5:7

  • Study what perfect love is

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”  – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I promise you that things will get eventually get better ❤



Lama Leah

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Twitter: @lamaleahblog DSC_3265Photo taken by Derek Hildebrandt

Never Belonging Became My Strength

I have had a strange life. Everyone has a different definition of what normal is, but I don’t think that my life so far could be defined as anyone’s definition of normal. Several weeks ago, I was sharing about my life with an individual and they laughed at how diverse I am. Here is my life summed up.

My parents were raised in Christian environments. My mom went to Bible College, my dad went to art school. When I was three years old, my family was invited to a Chanukah service at the local Messianic congregation and my mother experienced imitate shalom. Visiting just for Chanukah led into attending the following Friday, and every Friday evening preceding that. My family gave up Christmas, Easter, and Halloween and those festivities were replaced by Chanukah, Passover, and dressing up in costume for Purim. By the time I was 10, I could not tell you the name of a single hymn but I could recite and chant countless Jewish liturgy. Does my family have descendants from Israel? Nope. I am very Swedish actually. Did that make a difference when my parents decided to change their ways and convert? Nope.

From a young age I was forced to learn how to be confident in myself because I didn’t really have a cultural identity. Am I bitter about how I was raised? Not at all in fact, I feel that the believers who are NOT messianic are missing out on great blessings. At the same time, I have always been a misfit. As I grew older, I started to notice how anti-Semitic  thought has entered the minds of many Christians. It did not take long to realize learn how even young Christians were being persuade by these beliefs. The thing about being Messianic is that it’s not exactly accepted by the Christian or the Jewish community. I never felt as if I belonged because I never really did. My personal religious beliefs and convictions were a huge part of my life but I was rarely in environments where I could freely share them. My parents NEVER forced their own believes on me, I personally experienced the complete shalom of God myself and when that happened I knew that God is real.

My parents sent me to a highly academic private Christian school and I am NOT book smart by any means. I am dyslexic and had difficulty finding techniques to help me overcome that. Even though my life has been different, I have learned a variety of life lessons from not ‘belonging’ in the places that God has led me.

  • Know who you are in God
  • EMBRACE who you are
  • Accept and make a point to have diversity in your life
  • Don’t feel pressured to fit a certain mold that society has made, it’s not worth conforming
  • Always always practice the golden rule, epically to other misfits
  • Find a way to learn from anyone regardless of their age or background

After I graduated high school, I had a desire to be a makeup artist but God closed every door for me to pursue that, but when I surrendered that to Him He opened up different opportunities. The same week that I gave up the idea of being a makeup artist, this blog grow more in a short period of time than it did the prior year. Within the same season, God was tugging at my heart to pursue the entertainment industry to be a light for Him. Additionally, God granted me several opportunities to perform. Within eight months after graduating at the age of 18 years old, I was offered to guest write in an online magazine. Shortly after that, I was asked if I would interested in being a regular columnist. What kind Magazine? A Pentecostal magazine! Everyone on staff has been so incredibly encouraging and supportive of me. I am definitely on the young side of the staff but I see that as an honor.

As God has led me to pursue the entertainment industry, I have found that there is power in never feeling that you belong. I am petite and few probably see a model in me because of my height, but am I going to let that hinder me? Nope. I have probably done more photoshoots then some of my friends who are built as fashion model have. I never fit a stereo type so why start now, right? Because I never felt as if I belonged, I don’t feel as if I HAVE to do what my peers from high school are doing. I don’t feel this pressure to go to a state college for four years, find a spouse, get married after graduation, and start a family after that. Is there value in that? Absolutely but I have no desire to follow a path that society has paved for me.

Everyone has something that they want to try but are scared to because they are scared to try. I refuse to live a life of regret because someone persuaded me not to try it. In the beginning of the month, I competed in a talent competition called Shine. At this competition, there was talent ranging from the age of four years old to elderly adults. I greatly admire the older adults who got on the stage and acted, sang, danced, ect. If nothing is stopping them from pursuing their dreams, what is stopping you?