My name is Leah, and I am represented by Hannah Noelle Models. I have been saying a variation of that statement for years. I have done dozens of photoshoots and have worked hard for one specific job, a Target advertisement. I have centered most of my life to get to this achievement. I book only G-rated photoshoots, I frequently apply to agencies that work with the company, I watch what I post, and have even tried to contact their creative director on Linked in.
Beyond Target, I’m itching to do national work. I am constantly on casting networking sites applying for modeling and acting jobs. The furthest I’ve gotten is getting asked for additional photos or videos and then hearing nothing. I am not complaining, I understand that this industry is about connections, numbers, and being in the right place at the right time. Having a passion is absolutely mandatory because it can be a humbling career path. I am still as on fire for this as I did when I first caught the “Bug.”
Lately, I’ve found myself in a very unrealistic way of thinking. When I’m doing my daily job hunting, I listen to a playlist that I created called ✨Manifesting✨. This playlist is piled with songs about making it. It’s my motivation because this part of the day can get really daunting. When I am doing this, I tend to daydream. I’ll think about things along the lines of…
“How would I portray this roll?”
“What would it be like to shoot in LA?”
“It would be so cool to do this campaign”
I think that this, the daydreaming is perfectly healthy. In fact, it probably helps keep the dream (and work ethic) alive. But this is evolved into thoughts like….
“Once I get national work I’ll finally be comfortable calling myself a model”
“When I start consistently doing out of town gigs I’ll be living the dream”
“If only I could do a national gig, then it will feel like I’ve been doing something all these years”
“When I book target all the struggles will be worth it”
“When I book Target I can move on with my life”
And the most dangerous thing I will think…
“When I book Target I’ll be happy”
Would having a larger resume make the daily job hunt easier? Probably so. But am I senseless for thinking that my life will be drastically changed for the better after doing one photoshoot? Absolutely. I cannot be defined by my job, the job I want to have, or my dreams. While it is important to have goals and dreams, if I believe my life will get better later when I’m doing little to be content now, there’s no way I’ll be content then.
Realistically speaking, I am not unhappy with the life now. I have a cute little home, a job that treats me well with coworkers who are more like family, and a couple of friends. Things aren’t too shabby here in Kansas for me. Target could go bankrupt tomorrow and I could lose all my opportunities to shoot for that store.
In the long run, what really matters is having a community and a family however that looks for you. Find joy in the small things, and memories in the moments.
With all the love,