Be a Lemur, Be YOU

Hello everyone! I hope that you are having a fabulous week. I decided to take a small break from my serious, “Growing Up Messianic” and write a feel good type of post.

If you do not keep up with my modeling, I will give you a brief update of what is going on with my career.

In the Spring of 2017, I reluctantly followed the path that I felt God leading me, and started the journey towards becoming an actress/model. That summer, I began building my portfolio and traveled all over the country to participate in industry related classes and workshops. By the fall, I had a semi-large portfolio and I competed in AMTC’s SHINE in Chicago. Despite walking in a difficult season within the winter, I continued working towards my dreams and goals. This spring I signed with a Mothering Agency and I am looking forward to seeing what the Summer brings.

When I said, “Yes” to where I felt the Lord calling me, I had NO IDEA what kind of a wild ride When I take a step back and reflect on everything that I have done in the past yearISH, it seems simply unbelievable. From having several opportunities to train with top industry professionals, fitting five photoshoots into a weekend, to having the privilege to walk and perform with career and life-changing VIPs in the audience. Even with all of the CRAZY opportunities I have had, I have rarely gotten nervous before or during any of these experiences. I generally feel comfortable in front of the camera or when I am on stage.

This past weekend, I was pushed in a way that I was not expecting too.  On Friday, I received a text message from my agent to show up to the agency following day wearing…………

WORKOUT CLOTHES

Out of everything that I have had to do that was uncomfortable, nothing has made me more upset then the thought of working out with not only a group but with other models. It is silly, but I did a nice and long ugly cry when I got this message. My anxiety skyrocketed, and I was praying that I would get sick in order to get out of this. I had flashbacks to Junior High gym class, where I was always the last one to fished the timed mile. I was dredging this request from my agent.

What could possibly go wrong? Ummm it could be apparent that I rarely do a vigorous workout, that I have absolutely no athletic ability, or that deep down, it terffies me to work out with others.

I was anxious and nervous. I am fairly secure and confident in my measurements, however, I still sometimes become insecure about my extra skin, height, and commercial features. I started doing exactly what I try so hard to avoid doing, and I was comparing myself to the other models.

My mom tried to comfort me, and she gave me some advice that I feel can be valuable to anyone. She told me the following:

“Leah you are not a fashion model and never will be, you know that. You may occasionally get a booking for fashion model look, but you will not spend the majority of your career on a runway. Those fashion girls, are like giraffes, they have long legs and long necks. You are not a giraffe, not even a baby giraffe because you do not have a neck of a fashion model. I see you as being a lemur. You are small but have big eyes. You cannot compare a giraffe to a lemur, because they are extremely different. Embrace who you are. Go into your —- (castings, bookings, auditions, ect) with a good attitude, be okay with laughing at yourself, work hard, know your stuff, and you will go far.”

My mother is very wise. Being a model is far more then being, “Pretty” but being able to bring a unique look to project. I apprecaite that so far, in every modeling or training oppertunity that I have had, I have not looked like anyone else in the room. Likewise, nobody is going to have the “Leah” quirks and personality.

My challenge for you is to go into the world an embrace exactly who you are, whether you are a llama, cat, sloth, or a peacock. BE YOU and be AMAZING at it.

If you would like to follow my modeling journey you can find me on Facebook and Instagram.

https://www.facebook.com/Leah-Pilcher-ActressModel-494836214206671/

https://www.instagram.com/modellamaleah/

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Messianic and Dating? Growing up Messianic Pt.2

“How do you get a guy to back off? Tell him you are Messianic and you will probably just scare him away.”

LOL. If you are Messianic and have ever been looking in the romance department, you can probably relate too well to this joke!

Dating and romantic relationships, in general, are a funny, odd, and sometimes just frustrating when you identify as Messianic. I have had a few non-serious, romantic relationships, but have only been in one relationship with another man who identifies as Messianic. While I keep aspects of my life both very open and very private, my ‘love life’ is something that I haven’t shared much about on my blog, or even on my social media. While I don’t see the need to share about ALL of my dating experiences, I will share about two that broke my spirit and gave me hope that it may be possible to find a Messianic man.

I was 16 and fell for a guy that seemed completely opposite of me, at least from the outside. He was real with the world, and I appreciated that more than anything. We were both extremely broken at the time, and were able to find comfort in each other. Deep down, I knew that we weren’t going to last, “Forever” even though, at the time I wanted that. We dated for several months, and I found out that his parents (who I had never met), didn’t like me, because I was messianic. His parent’s opinions of me stemmed into our relationship, and it wasn’t too much longer before they had a long list as to why they didn’t like me. After several months, he broke my heart, and I can’t help but wonder if it had to do something with the fact that I was Messianic. His parents made several remarks, about it, and so did he. To them, I was in a cult, which I had a suspicion that they were simply anti-sematic . I am grateful that things ended because I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone who is prejudice against the Jewish nation.

The next guy that I am going to share about happened more recently. I was in high school, but close to graduation and I realized that there was a new guy in my congregation, who was very cute. I didn’t know his name but knew that he was probably significantly older than me and knew that I should hold off on making a move until I graduated. The winter preceding graduation, I got to know the nameless guy better. I was correct, he was significantly older than me. We ended up in a relationship by Valentine’s day.  As I am not used to having a true connection with people, in a platonic or romantic way because of my religious roots, and it was strange to have that. The entire relationship seemed surreal but in a good way. It was a positive relationship but after a few months, we realized that we were both going different places in life, as we had an age difference that was more than a few years.

Romance is a tricky thing as a Messianic young adult. First of all, where do you find someone? The Messianic community in my area is very small, but also I refuse to go to Temple with the intention to find someone. I go to worship God. Also, is it okay to date someone who isn’t Messianic if they are Christian? Throughout my life, I have generally felt more acceptance from guys who wouldn’t consider themselves to be religious at all.

Today I am single, but I know that I have several ladies in my synagog who would be more then willing to try to set me up with a partner if I asked them too. I am perfectly fine being single as I am very focused on my dreams and goals. I don’t feel like I am ‘Missing’ anything. Especially, as I have little time, even for my friends. At this point, I feel perfectly content in my life. Although I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to a romantic relationship, at some point, but within this season I am not going to simply ‘wait around’ for a guy.

I hope that this gave you a little bit of insight on dating as a Messianic. If I am supposed to settle down one day, I have faith that I will somewhere, and somehow find a Messianic man. However, in the meantime, I have a lot of stuff to get done.

-Leah

Email: lamaleahblog@gmail.com

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