UnFiltered

“A picture is worth a thousand words” is a common quote. Within this culture, we are constantly consumed by statuses and pictures.

I recently came across a faith based blog that stated,  “Do not post a picture without editing.” While this is a harmless phrase, I had a difficult time emotionally processing it. I understand where the author is coming from. As a blogger, I desire my website to be a relection of Christ. I want lama-leah to be well formatted, have few grammatical errors, and post pictures of good quality. However, there is definitely another side to consider when making this statement. When I first read it,  I immediately thought, “How can you portray real life if all your photos are fake?” In May I addressed the flaws that are on this website in my post titled, “I (Will) Have Typos.” You can check out that post here: https://lamaleah.com/2017/05/26/i-will-have-typos/

Shortly after reading this, I took a look at my own social media accounts. I found two pictures of me being in a natural state while I have dozens of photos posted with a full face of makeup, straighten hair, and a few touch ups with the help of the beloved program, Photoshop. I began to ask myself the question, “Why do I want to be transparent as a writer but not with the pictures on my instagram feed?”

The truth is I am scared of showing the world who I physically am. I like to believe that I am confident but I think I am more vulnerable when I share a picture in my “natural state” than I am secure.

I have physical and emotional scars. I have cellulite. I wear loose shirts that hide my belly fat. My thighs are big and I have hips. I cannot naturally get a tan in the summertime and I use my hair as a way to hide. However, now that you know that, do you think that my value has decreased? I would rather be portrayed as someone who has flaws but is secure in their self than being just an average ‘pretty girl.’

Below are two pictures. The first picture is in my modeling portfolio. It has over 60 ‘Likes’ on my feed. I was doing something that I love to do. My hair and makeup was done and I was modeling. The second photo was taken after the county fair dog show. The dog that I had been working with won her first award as reserve champion in Rally-Obedience. I was also doing an activity that I love. One picture is art and the other one I am in my natural state of beauty. No makeup. I had done nothing to my hair, and I had been at the show throughout the course of the day. Which one is my favorite? The spider. But which one am I being real?

I challenge you to be real when it comes to what you share on social media. Edited photos are great but so are the ones that are not. They each contain there own unique characteristics of beauty.

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I love hearing from all of you. My contact information is listed below.

Facebook and Twitter: Lamaleahblog

Instagram: lama12215leah & lamaleahblog

Email: lamaleahblog@gmail.com

Dear God, what am I doing?

Shalom readers! If you have been a Lama-Leah reader for a while, you would probably be aware that my life over the past year has been chaotic but in the best way possible. From graduating high school in May of 2016, briefly moving to a different city to work in June of that year, my college program being cut in August, experiencing a prophecy from the Lord in October, being asked in I wanted to a permanent writer at a small magazine in February, and in this past spring being called into the entertainment industry in the spring. Within this season, I have grown closer to Him in ways that I had yet experienced as a recent highschool graduate.

This past spring, God lead me to a different career path that I really hadn’t considered before. Within a series of events, He led me to be a part of Actors, Models, Talent, for Christ perusing a career in acting, modeling, and music. When I signed with this organization, I had no idea what I exactly I was getting into. Within a matter of weeks after starting this program, I made a contact with an influential man in the Christian entertainment industry. Almost immediately, I was exposed to the dark side of this industry that desperately needs Jesus. I am still learning what this career path entails but I can only say that it is….dark!

This has been physical journey but also a spiritual one. I have been both spiritually attacked and blessed. God has become more real to me but spiritual warfare has been too. My lifelong battle with food has worsened. My appetite has greatly decreased making it difficult to eat on certain days. Days before my first training with AMTC I became ill and lost my voice (and I had to sing at that class). Despite this, the blessings from the Lord have been abundant. When I worship Him, it has become sweeter with more Shalom.

However when still deal with those voices of doubt. Am I equipped? Why me? Am I really talented enough? God, you sent me here but what I am I doing?  When I examine these thoughts, I realize that they are not from the Lord but the adversary and I can refute this with the word of God. I know this in my head, but am I really taking the time to examine these scriptures? Not always

Unless one has been called into a modern day Nineveh, it can be difficult to explain to the believing community where the Lord has led me, especially because it appears that I want a glamorous life. If you are under that impression, let me explain that I don’t desire fame or fortune I desire to make a difference and impact for HaShem within this culture.

I was recently asked the question, “Leah how long are you going to stick with this?” First I was surprised that someone would ask me this. I admit that I found it to be odd then I realized that this probably won’t be the only I’m going to be asked this. It would be easy to simply stick with my career as a writer. I am doing alright in this field for being 19 years old. I could continue to make a difference for Christ through Lama-Leah and the other platforms that I write for. I am going to continue this work but God has led me on this new path. God has blessed me with more connections and opportunities in the past six months than most individuals have in a lifetime. I am excited for the future even though it is unknown. The industry is dark but blood of Jesus sheds light! I often times ask Him what I am doing here, but He always guides me in His perfect direction. In this past year, I have learned about faith and I am applying those lessons daily. If I have learned anything in the past year it would be the following, “The trials of yesterday became the blessings of today.”

With love,

Lama Leah

 

 

 

*If you want to see some of my work follow my social media accounts!*

Instagram: lama12215leah & lamaleahblog

Facebook & Twitter: Lamaleahblog

Email: lamaleahblog@gmail.com

 

The Entire Amor

Recently I was on Twitter and I came across a quote that has been resonating in my heart. The tweet stated, “When you feel like praying the least is when you need to be praying the hardest.”

In a believers walk, there will be highs and lows. There will be times where you have the fire for Christ and seasons where opening up His word feels almost physically impossible. In my most recent season, I was on fire for HaShem. I was determined to be a light in the darkness and I currently feel discouraged with this mission. It seems as if my efforts are not doing anything for the glory of God. However I know that these thoughts come from the enemy and NOT the Lord. Instead of feeding into the lies, I need to be clinging to the armor of God. If I am being completly honest, these days don’t feel like going through the motions of going through the Christian walk. Do I still do them though? Yes. Is it difficult to push though? Yes but when I do connect with the spirit I have His shalom thoughout the day.

If you are going through the same season, I have some scripture to encourage you with.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” -Ephesians 6:12

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” – Ephesians 6:11

Thank you for bearing with me as I have vented. As always, I write with love. Feel free to contact me.

Facebook & Twitter: Lamaleahblog@gmail.com

Instagram: lamaleahblog & lama12215leah